Saturday, May 30, 2009

so they can stuff their mouths full of desperation.

living here, in this town, in this house, on this water. lets me realize that while i am here, i am all i need. no mask today, no mask tomorrow. i'll let the sun beat down on my face and i'll soak it all in and i'll smile. i'll shine, because this was the day that i realized who i was again. who i was and what i am composed of. what i carry on my back, in and my heart, it weighs down on me so much, but it never gets too heavy, because i'm always going to be strong enough. one day i will leave this place and i'll go on to be the best my mother ever saw. not that i live to make anyone proud, but living to prove myself. to prove that i can do this, live my life, wall-less and hopeful for tomorrow, another day- another dollar in my pocket, in my suit case. everyday another mark on my list. another day of survival in a world of wild animals feasting on everything that moves. we're all mannequins here. everyone surrounding me is invisible. walking around like hungry cattle waiting for the day i fall to my knees and crack, so they can stuff their mouths full of desperation, nutrition, choking down every ounce of hate my body sustains. but i don't crack, i don't fall and i won't and you hate it. you all wait to watch me fall, but i never do. and when i do, no one is watching because the seats are all paid up, the sun is gone, you're all asleep and there's a long line outside, and the morning comes,and i stand there in the sun for hours with this look on my face, and you sorry people wait for me to break. to blink an eye in your direction. i will not. i can not. i won't. i don't need anyone else, besides the people i already have. i don't need anymore hate pumping quickly through my veins, bursting at the seems with every swing i take. day three hundred and ten, all heart, day two, mask-less. yes, i am finally free.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And freedom is bliss.