Wednesday, April 29, 2009

i feel like i've searched the world.

every street, every store, rooms flooded floor to ceiling with books, page after page holding a million words i know i'll never read, written by faces i know i will never see, and so i continue to flip through, flipping through these pages looking for answers and looking for questions, reasons with no excuses and i find nothing and everything all at once. i try to make some sense of this, the things i'm feeling and the things i'm not feeling, and the only one i find myself brave enough to pull out of me, is that everyday that passes i throw my hands up at the sky, i scream at the sun and i let a small proportion of my hate free, everyday. i let it go. escaping from all of my tiny pores, this is me singing for you. i want to be saturated in you, soaked in everything you are, everything you, your heart and your mind are composed of, this is me longing for you, to cop a feel of what happy actually feels like. my mind runs quickly to a blur and pours out a pure image, standing back watching you pull your fingers down my face, not a single shake, not a sudden stir. i do not turn away, i do not quiver at your simple touch. i do not falter. i seize the day, oh how the world will scream "carpe diem, carpe diem, carpe diem!"
i paitently wait for it to come, and when it does, my world will never know another. i will never feel another.

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