Saturday, July 4, 2009

truth never sleeps.

you think prayer will set you free from the monstrous things you have committed, the indistinguishable, impassable things you have done? i still don't sleep. i still can't bring myself to close my eyes and be at ease. i've become one with the sun, because that's when the world can see me. with the moon rising in the sky, i begin to hide again, i begin to hollow myself out, because it's when the sun is gone, that i am scared. it's when the sun is gone, that i shake. it's when the sun is gone that i scream, and still no one will ever hear a sound, because i am strong enough. i don't have to kick and scream to save myself, a little bit longer and the ones i see, will never see me. you will wake up and i will be gone. i will be so far gone. i will not leave a trace, i will not let you in. i will not let any of you people find me. i will become invisible to all that i know, and i will build this world over again inside my head, i will find some stiff soil and i will engage in the renovation of my new world. i will find my own foundation. i will be free. i will decipher every word i have ever written and i will pick out the sweet parts and i will then write, the greatest story of my life. i will find it within myself to pull myself up out of the mess i'm surrounded in, i will not stay down in this rabbit hole, just to save your life. when they wake and they find nothing, all fingers will be pointing at you, you can tell them why i am gone, and you can make them comprehend why i am never coming back to this place. you are at my mercy, you're life belongs to me, and myself alone.

i will always be stronger than you, i will always be better off than you are, you will never be blessed with salvation because you can not save yourself.

do not question why i am who i am, what is wrong with my head, when you already know the answers that i will try so hard to articulate
off of my lips.

the truth never sleeps, and once you've been bite by an animal, you will never reach out for that animal again.

No comments: