Monday, July 20, 2009

knee deep in filth. please go away.

i can't take this constant struggle anymore. they are all screaming at me. as if; screaming at me is their sleazy- way too under paid, low society, sorry excuse of a day job. which can only mean, it's like a song on repeat. the words they scream. pounding my head, i reach for another aspirin. water. aspirin. repeat. they won't stop. not for anything. everyone is making it such a point to try and calm these fist of mine, rather than this heart i try so hard to keep caged away, hidden- so no one can see. it kicks like a snare drum. i can feel the cadence. nothing is visible anymore. everything is translucent. we are all so translucent, clear like glass. we are the water that beads off the leaves in the morning, falling and fading into the soil with the sun. we are all invisible. nothing makes sense. all these things are collaborating and colliding into the biggest circle of mess i have ever witnessed in my entire life. these brass-bound walls are so tall, and here i stand knee deep trying so hard to figure myself out. looking upward at the sun, trying so hard to keep my heart and my head in sync, to keep my head above these rocky waters. i can't enjoy the ocean, if i have to keep fighting off these waves. one after the other. repeat repeat repeat. i don't want to get sucked under anymore. i can not get sucked under anymore. leave me alone, all of you.

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