stale language.

i want to write about what i don't feel, rather than what i do.

because i know what i don't feel, rather than what i do.

my heart lately, has been weak. i'm not okay, and i can hardly breathe.
unwillingly but still just as strong, i've cut the tethers of everything holding me here.

i let everything go, and now i have nothing to hide behind, nothing to keep me from drifting away.

every day is a new day,
and it's either a good day or a bad day.
sometimes i'm okay.
other times, i'm not okay.
today, up until now, i was okay.
i was great.

i wasn't thinking, i wasn't wishing, i wasn't even feeling.
now, i'm feeling, and i'm missing and i've got that burn in my side
like maybe something is being ripped from me.
and i don't know what to do with it.

it scares me, my lack of notion, how i fail to decipher my hate from my love, and vise versa.
i still have to take deep breaths to make it through the day.
everywhere i look, i see you, everywhere i inhale, i breathe you.

this is beginning to kill me.
i can't even fathom the pain.

i've got to get out of here.