half the mess.

i remember walking, and as i was taking in all the faces that flooded the streets under my feet, holding my fist clenched at my side, reminding me of all the hate i once held in between them. i had a moment of flawless glory that night, i was certain that i was here in this world because i couldn't tolerate any other place, i had finally hit rock bottom, lost everything solid i thought i had, i tried holding on, i tried to fix it all. i tried to save you, over and over again and i failed.

i had never believed in fate until i let all of my answers settle on your skin, and i let the warmth of your deceiving words wisp them away. i lost it all, and now standing just as strong, and more alone than i had ever been in my entire life but standing still nonetheless. i know that eventually i'll be okay.

I'm only half the mess everyone takes me for, i'm only half the mess i think i am.