none of this is true.

i start to miss you and then i realize, i never even knew you from the very beginning. i was in love with a stranger. another face in the crowd, just another mark on my list. eyes like the ocean, words like the waves. waves that broke every morning and sunk slowly back into the sea every night. taking everything i am along the way. indian giver. that's what they'll call you. it's hard to keep you out of my head. i curl up and let my thoughts scatter, i sit up and i pull them back real slow. i collect them and take them to the kitchen to get more coffee. i'm not okay, i'm not alright but i am awake. i'm awake and breathing. alive but still screaming. we clench up our fist and pull them to our chest. we breathe just to keep it beating.

i keep pounding just to keep it beating.