my coffees cold but that's alright.

i bring my hand back to my head and push my hair to the other side, i close my eyes and i breathe in. my coffees cold but that's alright, it's still sweet to my tongue, and it's mellow taste sends shivers down my spine, crawling and counting my ribs as it works it's way down to my toes. i curl them under, my joints crack and the sound is everything but soothing. i can hear you breathing, laying next to me, i slow my lungs down and i tap mine in sync with yours. steady pace, inhale and then exhale, we are one. nicotine isn't taking away my stress, like it has so many days before, and the sound of your voice, telling me to fall back asleep isn't making my heart sink like i'm so used to it doing, but still it's appealing and it starts to calm my eyes like it never has, and in due time i can only feel myself next to you, asleep on my stomach with your limbs falling - settling over me, melting and blending into me, like we were one colour, and we were, as we were. i butt out my cigarette and roll over to you, pushing your legs and your arms back on your side, floating in a sea of sheets and feather downs, i fell into you, and i let my kisses land on your bare shoulders, like little planes meeting with land for the first time in hours, the comfort knowing you've landed safely, i've been on a thousands planes, and i've never landed this safe before, but i'm landed, and i'm sinking all at the same time, and it's overwhelming and i like it, i never want to fly again. i never want to set foot off of these grounds, out of these waters, anywhere away from you, i never want to be. your eyes are closed, but you're awake, you're a horrible actor and that's okay. you smell of sweat, it's warm in here, it's appealing and i breathe you in for the first and the last time. the suns coming in the window, morning has arrived. don't get up and leave me, don't you stop pretending like you're asleep. don't you wake up, i don't want to wake from this dream. i fall back into my pillow, close my eyes and i'm in a field of green, laying with my head faced towards the sky, it's blue like my eyes. you told me once, you whispered it into my ear, and the words faded slowly to my heart, "your eyes are like the ocean, i'd fight the waves just to swim one time." i throw my arm over you, you're body is warm and the touch of me, makes you shift positions and i let out a little laugh, i didn't mean to stop your act, i didn't mean to wake you, you hush me with a kiss to my forehead, a smile dawns a crossed my face, i bury it in your chest, i never want to wake up from this.


because everyone's felt this way before, and because it's the only thing i know of you at the moment, i've never known a heart like yours.